Bravo Jennifer Mattern!

I read this piece at All Freelance Writing and nearly wept with frustration and joy. At some point we’ve all said something like this, either on our blogs or to our freelance colleagues.

Don’t act like you’re hiring a full-time employee. - I’m shocked by how many people request formal resumes and such from potential freelancers. What’s worse though is that today I saw a company asking for things like cumulative GPAs. Folks, these traditional requests are fine if you’re hiring an employee. They’re often completely overboard when hiring someone for short-term per-project gigs. Instead look at their portfolios. Their work will speak for itself. (And frankly, there’s no reason you need someone’s GPA to hire them as a part-time, freelance blogger. That’s just silly and makes a bad impression – this particular advertiser came across as absurdly demanding for example with their list of requirements.)

I’ve seen ads like this. They’re so frustrating, because obviously some automaton in HR drafted the ad according to company hiring policy for employees, and no one has a clue how to hire a contractor. Ads for freelance writing gigs that ask you for transcripts or a list of every job you’ve ever had since McDonald’s when you were 15 are completely out of line (the exception being anything that requires a government security clearance, of course). You want to hire me as a writer, but want to know about when I mowed lawns in college? How does that apply in any way, shape or form to me writing your marketing copy?

And you want free custom samples? Are you on crack? Tell ya what: I’ll do for you what my tailor does for me. If I want something bespoke, I place a deposit that covers the cost of materials. Then if I return and hate the piece my tailor made for me, I lose the deposit. No hard feelings – we’re both covered. I don’t have to buy the piece, and he’s not out of pocket (this happened once with a pair of leather pants when I was a dominatrix – we moved on and continued our professional relationship). Seriously, do you go to a restaurant, eat a meal, then tell the waiter it was “just a sample” and you shouldn’t have to pay for it since you didn’t like it all that much? If I were the waiter you tried that on, I’d punch you in the stomach repeatedly till you vomited, thereby breaking you of a very bad habit of ripping off restaurants.

I’m so glad Jennifer wrote that piece. I think it should be sent to every person who places an unrealistic and ludicrous ad on Craigslist, looking to exploit freelance writers.