You Can’t Control Google

Controlling Google is like bossing God around – it’s an arrogant thing to think you can do, and it won’t work anyway. It’s like Al Gore telling us we can control the weather. Seriously, you don’t actually believe that, do you? 

Google – like God – is all-powerful and more than a little scary to us mortals. (If Al Gore commanded that kind of respect, maybe we’d believe him.)

I’ve mentioned the basics of SEO Marketing in the past, and these are great tips to adhere to. But like in life, there can be unintended consequences with Google. Once you start treating Google with the reverence it (seems to think it) deserves, you can eliminate some of these consequences.

Complaining

I love to complain. Who doesn’t? But let’s say the last three articles on your site have been about your unbelievably bad trip to Maui. Guess what’s going to populate your Google ads on the page? That’s right! Trips to Maui!

Personal story: My regular political site spends a lot of time decrying the atrocities against women perpetrated in the name of a particular major world religion. Guess what my Google ads are for? Uh huh – dating and marriage sites geared to that faith. You can’t make this stuff up, people.

It sees you when you’re sleeping

Do not try to lie to Google – or Santa Clause. They know. Don’t ask me how, but they do. If you send an email out to your friends telling them to click on your Google ads, Google will know. And they’ll lock your account. Cast you into perdition. No amount of Hail Marys can get you out of this. And you’ll get coal for Christmas.

Quality over Quantity

For some annoying reason, Google doesn’t give a rat’s ass if you score a huge link from a prominent site that drives eleventy-trillion people to your site. All that matters is that they go for the reasons that Google themselves decree.

Personal Story: I posted a pic of Dita Von Teese on my site. This gets search engine traffic. The people that come to me from search engines mean more to Google than the ones who come to me because I got linked by some super hot blogdaddy that drives thousands of people to me. Go figure.

It’s all about the search engines. Nothing else matters.

So what can you do about it? 

I likened Google to God for a reason. It is all-powerful, and it is in charge. If you don’t like the way Google runs things, you can make up your own search engine and ad structure. It worked for Martin Luther, and it might just work for you.

Or, you can stop being such a whiney-baby and work within the system provided. You can excel at it, drive the right kind of traffic and go to Google Heaven.

There is no compulsion in Google. You can always opt out. Heathen.