I am as much a writer as I am white, or female, or anything else that I was born into. From the moment I could string letters together coherently, I was writing essays: A day in the life of the family Doberman, what our summer cottage meant to me, a letter to my best friend Marti. My goal, around age 10, was to run an underground newspaper. Seventeen years later I would start blogging.
When I was a corporate whore, I still called on my natural talents in my job. I would handle project documentation, training manuals or letters of complaint (my personal favorite). Without fail I would be applauded for these endeavors that were not immediately applicable to my work.
So when I lost my corporate job in early 2008, it was a natural transition to freelancing. Not an easy one, but a natural one. Unfortunately, 2008 and 2009 were the most horrible, chaotic years of my life. It was only for a few months on a friend’s Kansas farm that I was able to really form any sort of business.
Sadly, I tried and failed a few times. I was taking the wrong jobs, or messing up the right ones – I was green. Not to writing, but to the business of writing. And then when my world fell out from under me and I was living in a shelter for abused women, I knew it was do or die.
I have now been living on my own again for the past three weeks. In that time I have buckled down hard. I’m hustling daily, churning out work at a breakneck pace, and reaping the rewards. I’m going to be ok.
I was told by my husband for a year that I was a failure. That I was lazy. That I was malingering. That i wasn’t good enough.
Fuck you.
This is who I am. This is who I’ve always been. The only thing holding me back, apparently, was you. And me.
No more.
Where did this rant/post come from? This post at Freelance Folder. Fifteen reasons not to give up. So here’s another couple:
16. No one can make my decisions for me
17. This is who I am, and I love me
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4 users responded in this post
Love it! They should add #16 & 17 to the post. I too have been writing since I was very little, and though when I first started working I dabbled a bit in advertising and PR, I would always gravitate to the words (writing ad copy, press releases, etc). Freelance writing feels true to me because no matter what industry my clients come from, I’m still writing, still loving it. Like you, it really is “who I am.”
Natalia, some people are born with a talent to learn music or to paint. We were born to write. We SHOULD embrace that and not let others dictate what our jobs should be.
Wendy
Well, good for you. He did you the biggest favor of your life by throwing you off the boat to save yourself. And you did. You’re breathing again. And you finally feel alive. You finally believe in yourself. You have proven to yourself that YOU CAN. You should thank him because you wouldn’t have jumped off that boat on your own and you would never have learned how to swim. He helped you more by doing what he did than he could any other way.
Not so sure as I’d go so far as to “thank him”.
W
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