When I was a corporate whore, I still called on my natural talents in my job. I would handle project documentation, training manuals or letters of complaint (my personal favorite). Without fail I would be applauded for these endeavors that were not immediately applicable to my work.

So when I lost my corporate job in early 2008, it was a natural transition to freelancing. Not an easy one, but a natural one. Unfortunately, 2008 and 2009 were the most horrible, chaotic years of my life. It was only for a few months on a friend’s Kansas farm that I was able to really form any sort of business.

Sadly, I tried and failed a few times. I was taking the wrong jobs, or messing up the right ones – I was green. Not to writing, but to the business of writing. And then when my world fell out from under me and I was living in a shelter for abused women, I knew it was do or die.

I have now been living on my own again for the past three weeks. In that time I have buckled down hard. I’m hustling daily, churning out work at a breakneck pace, and reaping the rewards. I’m going to be ok.

I was told by my husband for a year that I was a failure. That I was lazy. That I was malingering. That i wasn’t good enough.

Fuck you.

This is who I am. This is who I’ve always been. The only thing holding me back, apparently, was you. And me.

No more.

Where did this rant/post come from? This post at Freelance Folder. Fifteen reasons not to give up. So here’s another couple:

16. No one can make my decisions for me

17. This is who I am, and I love me

Five Simple Ways to Increase the Reach of Your Blog

I love the points about social media and commenting, but I disagree with article marketing. I tried it, and it didn’t work for me. That said, I know there are a great many niche bloggers who have built up a great deal of traffic and credibility with article marketing. Perhaps I’m not niche-y enough.

10 Quick Tips for Concise & Compelling Writing

The point about using short sentences is important. I read way more articles than I actually write, and short sentences and bullet points are appreciated. Reading from the web isn’t the same as reading from a book or magazine, and web writers should recognize that large blocks of text or run-on sentences can be discouraging to the reader.

Ok, back to the grindstone. Later!

It’s amazing what triggers the brain to pump words out onto a blank page. My ex-husband couldn’t write with anything except instrumental music playing in the background. I need to soak in the inspiration of others in order to feed my own.

So I always have something playing. The dog and I settle in for a day’s work – me at one end of the sofa, laptop at the ready, and he at the other chewing on his Hilary Clinton Chew Toy (or licking some inappropriate place) – and I click play on whatever I think will help the most.

Here’s some of what’s been on my playlist for most of the week:

• Bad Romance – Lady Gaga
• Best Damn Thing – Avril Lavigne
• Slow Down baby – Christian Aguilera
• Hands Held High – Linkin Park
• Now That You Got It – Gwen Stefani
• Don’t Let Me Get Me – Pink
• Everybody’s Changing – Keane
• Smile – Lily Allen
• Tear You Apart – She Wants Revenge

What are y’all listening to as you typetty-type your little hearts out day after day?

It makes me cry.

Reliving the pain, the hurt, the shame of my experiences is gut-wrenching. There are days when I sit with my laptop, bang out a few paragraphs, and then just sit and ball for an hour.

Why tell the story?

Some of the greatest creators we’ve ever known created their masterpieces out of pain. They faced the hurt and made it into something the world could celebrate. Your pain doesn’t have to be for naught. The shame or hurt you faced could help another person better face their own trauma someday. If you have a story that must be told – even if it’s only to your laptop or diary – you must get the words out sooner or later, lest your creativity become malignant and hurt you further.

Facing the Pain

Short sessions are best. Like visiting a therapist, sessions shouldn’t go for more than an hour or two. Otherwise healthy catharsis can turn to melancholy funk.

Plan something joyful for afterward. Blow your nose, wash your puffy eyes, and take a walk in the sunshine. Pop your favorite comedy into the DVD player. Have lunch with a friend.

Don’t make a bad day worse. It can be tempting to use an already bad mood to get the painful words out. But this can run the risk of pushing you into a deep depressive mood. Wait until you can focus just on the one story.

Part of it is the back-to-school thing. It makes me crave clean notebooks and the smell of heavy hardcover books to read. (Seriously, you’d think I would have stayed in school longer, wouldn’t you?)

Fall is also a time of warm liquids on cold days – whether it’s soup or hot cocoa. I like mine with a dash of cayenne and cinnamon, to bring out the richness of the chocolate. It’s actually my favorite writing drink. But the calories – oy, the calories!

NaNoWriMo is also a Fall tradition for me. I take part just about every year, even though I’ve only ever finished it once. I suppose I’ll sign up again this year, too. The hard part is getting through the first two weeks. If I can do that, I’m set. But falling behind in the first two weeks is a set-up for failure.

The first year I did NaNo, I finished it. I turned out a 64,000-word pile of crap. It was exhilarating! The third year I began a story that never got completed. I hated it. Stuck it in a virtual drawer and ignored it for a year. Then something made me give it a second glance. It was excellent! I’m actually still working on it, and am having trouble with the ending, but the characters are full of life and the story flows. I promised my friend Jen that I would finish it by year’s end, and I will. Who knows what will happen after that? Maybe I’ll self-publish it. Seems like a better idea than flogging it around to myriad agents, wasting time and money.

One of my favorite parts of the season is walking. I take long, long walks all over the city, seeing the neighborhoods in the light of clear blue skies and changing leaves. I fill the iPod with playlists and podcasts, and wander for hours at a time, only coming home when my feet are aching. Of course, half the time I forget to take my camera with me, but c’est la vie.

If you’ll excuse me, i suddenly have a craving for that cocoa with cayenne…

So I dug out my dusty stationery that really doesn’t get used often enough, grabbed a pen, and then stared blankly at the page. Wow. To think, I used to do this all the time. Seriously, I would write 5-10 letters every week when I was living far from home and before I had a computer and email.

When I think of the volumes of letters I’ve written – both sent and unsent – it shocks me that I’ve practically forgotten how.

Now a quick note to my landlady with the monthly rent check is pretty much all I can muster.

You know what really threw me for a loop though? I very nearly wrote “OMG” at the start of a sentence. Srsly. So accustomed am I to chatting, Twitter and texting that I almost used “OMG” in a letter to an 80-year-old man who has never owned a computer.

How embarrassing. What am I coming to? So I’ve decided I need to stretch some of these little-used writing muscles again. I need to stop being so lazy and computer-driven – it’s time to write a letter once in a while.

I don’t do a lot of remote work. I’ve tried a few times to sit outside and get my daily dose of Vitamin D from the sun, but sunshine and laptops do not always go well together. The screen becomes black from reflection, and I have to squint to make out headlines, let alone smaller text. So those romantic ideas of working on the beach? Hooey. I tried working by the pool in Hawaii once, and were it not for a really, really big umbrella, I never would have gotten anything done. Not to mention that working seriously cut into my margarita time. What was I thinking??

Then there’s the remote “Starbucks” thing. I do this only when I have a large project in a word processor, and no need of the Internet. Why? Because Starbucks charges thirteen bucks a freakin’ day for Internet access! Zut alors! I left that kind of luxury behind when I left the corporate world of expense accounts and company credit cards. If I have a bit of fiction, it’s fine to sit there sipping a latte and soaking in the atmosphere. But for net work? No way.

Fact is, I don’t roam much with my laptop. Chair to couch and back is about the extent – I have a 17″ Dell Inspiron (hot pink!) that weighs about the same as a toddler. I like the idea of having a full keyboard and number pad, but I hate lugging it around. If I’m away overnight, I’ll take it with me. But if I’m covering a story on site somewhere, I’m more likely to blog from my BlackBerry or borrow a friend’s netbook.

Recently I’ve re-discovered the joy of the public library. Again, great for non-net work. In Toronto, our libraries don’t offer WiFi, which is frankly retarded. They offer Internet accessible computers, but you can’t use the ‘net from your own. However, it’s quiet. Quieter than Starbucks. Used to be that mommies brought their kids to the library, so hipsters would hang out at Starbucks. Now it’s the other way around. Anything to get away from the yummy-mummys with their Mercedes-like prams and caterwauling children while we try to get some work done.

Here in Toronto there’s one chain of cafés that offer free WiFi – Café Urbana. But my nearest one is a 3 mile walk. See previous comment about the weight of my laptop.

So for the most part you’ll find me in my little basement apartment, trying to catch a bit of sunlight from the street-level windows while I work.

Where do you work?

You’re all invited to send in an abbreviated 15-page proposal, fiction or non-fiction, which should include the following elements:

1.  “Hook” or overview (one page)
2.  Chapter outline (three pages)
3.  Platform (one page)
4.  Writing sample consisting of the first ten pages of the book

Please take a look at an earlier post, The book proposal: Here’s what publishers want for more detail on each of these elements.

When you’re ready, send the 15 pages as a single Word document email attachment to me at: alan@alanrinzler.com

This is a very big deal, especially for a first-time writer. If you’ve never been able to get your pitches in the door of a publisher or agency in the past, Rinzler can probably help you end the torture by finding out why.

Better hurry up, as I expect he’ll be inundated with requests. He has already said he can’t get to everyone, so be sure to write an intriguing pitch and get his attention!

Go. Read. Learn.

I admit that I’m not great at outline writing. When it comes to fiction, I have a tendency to just sit down and hope for the best! However, this year I’ve decided it might be in my best interests to get a few ideas on paper before November 1.

As for my e-book, I think it’s close to half done. I will be offering a few extras beforehand, too, like a list on how to search for an apartment.

What are y’all working on this weekend?